If I could do it all again: Parenting {The Sane Mum}

If I could do it all again: Parenting {The Sane Mum}

When you first have a baby, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE with older kids will tell you how fast the time will fly by! It’s hard to believe when you’re sleep deprived and kind-of wishing the baby would be old enough to sleep through the night!

It almost feels like you can’t win, no matter what you do as a parent. Should you co-sleep? Sleep train? Breast feed? Bottle feed? Is it really possible to ‘spoil’ them? Should you send them to daycare? Let them watch Playschool? Or ban screen time altogether? Send to a public school? Private? Montessori? Homeschool??

With the world throwing at you so many different messages to make you question if what you’re doing is right, there are times you’ll be wishing they’d already be 13, so you would know you hadn’t screwed them up!

But wait! That’s when they’ll be in their ‘difficult teenage years’!! Will they have a mobile phone? Should you let them go out with their friends? Wear that? Watch that? Play that computer game? When does it end?!

If I could do it all again

I didn’t believe that time would fly so fast.

They say it will fly by when you have a baby. You don’t really believe them. Then you blink and you’ve got an-almost-9-year-old reading ‘Harry Potter’ by himself…

So here I am, two months off my eldest turning 9, and it is really hitting me hard!

Let me tell you, by now it really doesn’t matter if you co-slept, or let them watch Playschool and Thomas to get 30 minutes to have a shower!

I recently had the pleasure to meet a newborn baby. She had that amazing baby smell and I totally stole as much time as I could to get as many cuddles as I could! I am proud to say I no longer get clucky seeing babies, our family is complete.

While I don’t get clucky holding babies, I do look at them and think “If I could do it over again”. And I get teary, and want to grab my three kids, right now, in this second, hug them all hard and NEVER let go! Because if I blink again, they may just be heading out the door with their bags packed, moving out into their own place.

If I could do it all again, I would:

  • Drop the guilt!
  • Cuddle them too much!
  • Get on the floor and play with them much more!
  • Clean less! If I had known how minimalism can change a mum’s life, I would have had so much more time for the kids AND a clean house. But back then we had a whole lot of ‘crap’ and right now, if I could go back and was to choose a clean house or sitting on the floor and building towers out of wooden blocks, I’d choose the blocks EVERY TIME!!


As you see, none of it is ‘serious regrets’, because you’ll find that no matter what you do, as long as you are a loving parent, you’re doing amazing! It all revolves around TIME.

This is why we are selling everything we own, renting out our house and setting off on our caravan trip! Because none of this matters! Not the furniture, not the pretty vases and trinkets, not the fancy gadgets and kitchen appliances! The only thing that matters is TIME. And we’re running out of it with the children growing so fast!

We’re dropping the guilt for the past and grabbing onto what we’ve got left! We’re creating a future of experiences and exploring with our children! While we still have the time!

If I could do it all again…





  1. July 14, 2017 / 9:21 am

    My eldest is almost 9 as well – where did those years go? I knew I was done having babies days after my second was born. And she was the easy baby! Now I can’t believe how much I hated those early years – the no sleep, the constant need to be “on”, and the never having any time to myself. But these “older kids” years are so amazing! I’m trying so much harder to be present for the girls, and do what they ask me to do with them.
    I wish you tons of fun on your caravan adventure! Enjoy it. :D

  2. Brenda
    July 3, 2017 / 9:00 pm

    Lovely read. True, they grow up so, so fast and you can’t get the time back. Mine are adults now. Sure I wish some of my choices had been different, but that’s how life is. As it turns out we are all good.
    Enjoy the everyday moments. Memories count and are cherished.

    • July 7, 2017 / 2:43 pm

      That is so true Brenda! Everyday moments are what makes those memories! ā¤ļø

  3. Amy Haverkort
    June 22, 2017 / 6:08 pm

    As a first time mum of a 7 month old I love reading things like this. I’m priviliged to be told these things by mothers that have been in my shoes and beyond. šŸ˜Š

  4. June 15, 2017 / 6:09 pm

    The time sure does fly, in just under 3mths my son will be 18rys. Thinking back over all the mountains of advice I was given in the weeks leading up to and just after his birth, most of it was not helpful at all. The four that I pass on to expectant and new mums are:

    in those first few months, sleep when your baby sleeps.

    don’t sweat the small stuff.

    Follow your gut instinct, you know your baby.

    House work will always be there, long after your kids have grown, so time with them is what matters.

  5. June 10, 2017 / 8:48 pm

    Awww. This is so sweet. Time is what I thought about when my son was born. I didn’t want to miss time with him like I did with his sis, so I quit my full time job. You don’t get that time back. I don’t live with regrets. I knew that the decisions I’ve made was for my family. But you’re right, it makes you think about what you’d do if you could do it all again.

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